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  • How to Really Have Work-Life Balance

    June 28, 2022 3 min read

    How to Really Have Work-Life Balance? ...Or Not

    “Work-life balance doesn't exist. Presence is what keeps us in our best and most effective state.” 

    Why is work-life balance nonexistent?

    Work-life balance is a myth. What's sad is that people chase this goal in hopes of achieving something that can never be found.

    It's like a dog chasing a car, it'll never catch it, but even if it does, it won't know what to do with it. Work-life balance, even if it could be achieved, is kept on such a fine balance, it's impossible to keep.

    How do you gain presence?

    Most people think being present is some "woo woo" meditation, live-in-the-forest-for-10-years kind of life. But it's not.

    If you aren't being present in your life, you are either living out of the past or in anticipation of the future.

    Living Out Of The Past

    Living out of the past means that you are living based on memory and recall. Have you ever felt super frustrated that you can't remember something? Well I feel like that's inevitable for me any time I ever took a test in school or I'm trying to remember anything informational at work.

    I just end up frustrated. That's not the beautiful state I want to live in.

    Living for the Future

    Have you ever felt nervous, anxious, or excited about something and seemed to completely forget what is happening around you?

    This is not a beautiful living state either. When you are nervous about anything, or feel the anxiety about something you dread, you feel the pain of it twice. And it blocks you from doing anything now that would help your future self.

    Living in the Present

    You will get the most done, be the happiest, and experience this beautiful state when you are present. You achieve presence by finding your footing in the present moment.

    This could be meditation, or it could be as simple as seeing what's in front of you and putting your thoughts in that space.

    You won't think about any mistakes or missteps of your past. You won't worry about what the future will hold. You will simply occupy the space you are in. Worry-free, and guilt-free. That's a beautiful state.

    Work-Life Balance vs. Presence

    Trying to have work-life balance means that you are balancing your time or effort in one area of your life with another. Specifically, people want to balance home and work life.

    But what always happens is one side of your life will be held back by the other. Different sides of life progress at different times, and if you are forcing them to stay together like kids on an elementary school field trip, you will spend most of your time corralling all parts of your life into a box and not improving them.

    Massive growth doesn't happen inside a box.

    Escape the Box

    To have any progress, you have to create an imbalance in that area of your life. For example, a sailboat cannot move without the wind going in a specific direction. An imbalance.

    You can't move without the force of the wind. This wind moves you from sitting still in the past to achieving your future. What keeps you in the boat and moving is your focus on what is happening now.

    Your imbalance is your movement.

    When you are at work, be at work. Don't worry about anything else or recall the past. It will only pull you away from what you are doing.

    Then, when you get home, be 100% at home. Your family deserves to have you there and present. They don't care about balance.

    It's not about the amount of time you spend with them.

    When I was in kindergarten, my mom would take a few minutes out of her day to play a game with me when I got home from school. I remember when she took time for me, not when she was busy with other things.

    Your family doesn't care how much time you spend with them. They care that you are present with them.

    Remember this:

    Make efforts to improve your presence in your life. Remember that while you are sailing through life, you need a focused wind to move you to your goals quickly.

    Get more out of your family time by being present with them.

    Allow yourself to become focused on the necessary things to improve. You should not be fishing off the side of the boat when the sails need to be up and full.

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