Rodney's Story | Tough As A Mother

May 08, 2021 3 min read


Stormie Atkin is the owner of Stitched By Ro, a brand dedicated to celebrating rainbow babies and their amazing mothers. She is a mother of 2 and in this video she shares the touching story of her angel baby Rodney.

Video Transcript

My name is Stormie Atkin, my husband's name is Jordan. We met through mutual friends, and we've been married for a little over four years. For our first two years of marriage, we went to school, traveled a ton, just had so much fun. We were graduating college, and we went on a graduation trip to Paris. When we got home we found out we were pregnant with our first baby.

We were so excited. Everything was falling into place. We found out it was a boy, and we were so ecstatic about that. We were looking for a house. Every appointment we went to was perfect. He was healthy, he was measuring on track, his heartbeat was strong. Everything was just great.

Around twenty-one weeks pregnant, I was laying in bed and I started having really bad cramping, which I found out later was contractions. At the time, it was my first pregnancy, I had no idea what was going on. Premature labor isn't talked about as much, so I didn't really know what to expect.

We arrived at the emergency room and I found out I was in preterm labor. I was dilated to a five so there was nothing that any of the doctors could do to stop my labor. Unfortunately because Rodney, which is what we decided to name him, was twenty-one weeks, the hospital doesn't offer any life-saving procedures until the baby is twenty-four weeks. So we were just right on that line of missing that. The hardest part for me was just coming to terms with delivering this perfect healthy baby that I would just have to hold as he passed away.

I was wheeled up to labor and delivery and I remember looking at the ceiling in the hospital, and seeing my reflection. I felt like I was in a bad dream, like an out of body experience where I didn't feel like this was even happening to me. It felt unreal.

We got up to labor and delivery and my labor was about eight hours long. Rodney was finally born and I had such a great team of nurses and doctors, they treated it just like any other birth. When he was born, we were really nervous just because when they're so tiny like that, you don't know if they're going to be able to live through the contractions or anything.

When he was born, he was alive, and they sat him on my chest and he was the sweetest little baby. He cuddled up on my chest and we started talking to him and he recognized our voices and he reached out his hand to hold on to our fingers. He had the tiniest hands, all they could do was wrap around our fingers.

We told him that we loved him, and we're so sorry this happened. He only lived for three minutes, but it was the best time ever that we were able to spend those three minutes with him. He was the sweetest little soul.

I have met so many women who have also had losses. They are all so different, but just having their support and understanding during these past two years has helped me get through this. I've learned that in order to get through things we have to go through them.

It's so important to feel every single emotion that you have, you know anger, sadness, whatever it may be, that's how you're going to get through this. You learn to live a life of grief and joy. I have such a happy life, I love my family so much. I also grieve, and I miss Rodney so much. It's possible for us to have both of those things together, and i'm so grateful for that.

Advice for women experiencing similar trials?

Just lean onto your friends and your family, allow yourself to feel everything that you feel. Get a good therapist, don't be afraid to go to therapy and talk this out. Have grace with yourself and know that this isn't something that you're just going to go through stages and move on from. It's something that you're going to carry with you through life. You're going to learn how to hold the grief and the joy, and you're going to be happy again.

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